What A Coach Does 

CoachingConversation 1 Summary 

 Coaching Orientation: 

As a coach you hold two containers while coaching the client.  Recognize that coaching is a relationship, and the coaching relationship is powerful.  The synergy of energy.   The synergy of a co-active relationship.  Co-active means simply being in action… Together, synergistically. The co represents the relationship the active represents the action – oriented aspects of doing things. The-in co – active because it holds tension and interrelatedness between the co-and active. Henry House, Coaches Training Institute. 

7 COACHING THOUGHTS:

I: What your client believes is real for them. Our agreements with our experiences create the client’s reality. Therefore, our experience comes from the inside by the meaning , emotions, and agreements we have given to events.  Our reality is flavored by all that we have experienced in the past and how our agreements with the past have molded our being.  Through our focused perspective thinking we begin to attract the same experiences.  Your world is what you think it is from  the inside out. 

K:  There are no limits only limiting perspectives. Fear limits possibilities and exist in our minds. Our limits are created by past experiences and the limits we have are imposed on us by us.  Anything is possible. The limits we see in our minds are not true and not imposed on us from the outside world. If we do not change what we think- our  limits- than we will never fully enjoy life outside the confines of our mind. All things are completed twice but first the things you believe are created in your mind. So… You believe you can - so you do! 

M: Energy flow where attention goes. What we seek we find.  Unless we are mindful our attention goes to the results of our past; to those events we wish to move to or those we wish to move away from.  The simple rule is we can choose what we focus on.  To make change to ourselves- a radical act- the client must- provide intention (right heart) , attention ( right focus) , energy, ideas, and actions to create results . Wherever, the attention there is the client’s life. 

M: Now the present moment is the only moment of power.  Getting clients to stay in that perspective is a principle of coaching. The past and the future hold no real power unless the client chooses to grant them power with agreements.  A client can do nothing with either the future or the past in the present moment.  There is not cause and effect unless you are in the moment.  In the present moment you can take action that might create the desired future.  Now is the only moment which is truly alive. 

LmThe process of coaching is to get the client to be in joy with whom they are. To show gratitude  for where they are now.  To have a joyful spirit with themselves.   Acceptance of who you be , to be happy with yourself is part of integration a client will need to embrace. The coach must care about the client; the client must care about themselves. Each must care about the coaching relationship. 

M: All power the client needs comes from within.  Our clients have everything they need within. The power of transformation comes from within. When you are coaching others you are helping them connect with the power within. You want to harness their power. Their capacity to live fully alive, to be themselves, to have their energy flow(align). Power is neutral so what do we use power for to grow or to nibble? Ourselves, or others? 

P:  There is no one good style of coaching. All coaches approach coaching differently. All clients’ needs are unique. The measure of effectiveness is coaching works for the client, on behalf of the client’s hopes, aspirations, and goals. 

Relationships

The coaching relationship matters! If we look at coaching as a container than coaching is the space where the client is challenged, supported, acknowledged, encouraged, and where the impossible dream comes alive.  In coaching others I have learned we settle for less.   In all of my experience to date coaching others  they do not think they are entitled to a fully alive life. Really; we settle for less! How fulfilled are you at work? Ask yourself How Great Could You Stand it?  We have seen the research, heard the stories of successful executives succeeding with coaches & mentors. Yet why do we not make that part of our developmental plan? Companies copy each other all the time but humans do not find the positive deviance in others and incorporate those elements into their career plan. 

Three things create a strong coaching relationship. 1. The coach and client create a safe and courageous space.  2. They design an alliance that is productive with challenge, and championing. 3. The juice from the squeeze evoking transformation of the client is one of the cornerstones of good coaching.  

 A safe and courageous Space

The client over time working with the coach develops trust. Trust starts with an agreement of confidentiality. What the client says about coaching is what is said about coaching.  Coaching is not a space where being right matters. The coach is not attached to the problem but coaches the relationship. We believe that the client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. The coach has the questions but the client the answers. The client is always enough;  guidance is the order of the day.  Being straightforward and honest, willing to challenge, ask the hard questions and tell the hard truth without attachment, then the client knows they can trust the coach to go the distance.  The coach is fully committed to them and will bring their authentic self into the coaching relationship. 

Finally, in coaching there are two main goals. The first holding the client’s goals and desire the focus of the caching and evoking transformation in the client. In coaching we are aware of the current situation or circumstances and at another level what is the client becoming, what is possible for the client. Transformation is about Forwarding the action and Deepening the learning. 

On behalf of the client 

People are naturally creative resourceful and whole

Your tendency is to advise is natural because most people believe coaching is telling or worst selling. The most fundamental assumptions about coaching is the answers come form the client, client defined solutions to client defined issues is empowerment. Client directed solutions/ actions are engagement, empowerment, and growth on behalf of the client.  A coach serves on behalf of the client- the faithful interpreter of desire, actions and the person they wish to become. 

Coach Mindsets 

Two containers you hold 

As a coach you hold two containers while coaching the client.  Recognize that coaching is a relationship and the coaching relationship is powerful.  The synergy of energy. 

The first container:   

                  Dream catching: holding for a fully alive dream, resonant decision making, and being and doing that is congruent with the compelling dream.

                  Asking powerful questions

                  Listening from the heart:

                  Practicing kindness, compassion, patience, truth telling, self-control, faithfulness, joy, and caring with your client. 

                  Being the faithful interpreter of the client story. 

                  Standing for the client when client will not stand for themselves by naming it, calling forth, championing, acknowledging the client. The coach that stands for their client must be willing to challenge, incite, motivate, encourage and sometimes request the clients take charge.